About
a week ago…
I had one goal in mind for our time in St
George: A short and bouldery climb at the Black and Tan cliff called Breakin’
the Law. I don’t know what exactly drew me to this climb in particular, but it
was all that was on my mind when we discussed our time in southern Utah.
I had tried this climb last year and had
been unable to link the first crux sequence, hadn’t done a single move in the
second crux, and was struggling to consistently link the ‘easy’ slab crux near
the top.
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My old beta in the first crux. Photo credit: Yannick Neufeld-Cumming |
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Exploding off of the first crux. Photo credit: Yannick Neufeld-Cumming |
This year, with the help of Jared’s
excellent beta, I started to consistently do the first crux. Shortly after
that, I figured out a sequence that worked for me for the second crux and
slowly began to get that part consistently as well. The slab crux wasn’t
proving to be a problem either.
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New crux sequence using toe hook beta that Jared found |
Perfect, I thought, this should go quickly!
This has not been the case. The difficulty for me revolves around getting
perched on a glassy smear with my body in just the right spot to take enough
weight off my left hand to move it to a good crimp – what I feel is the last
hard move in the second crux. In my mind, if I stick this, I should send.
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Trying really really really hard on the smear |
However, each attempt seems to go as
follows:
Climb through the first crux, grab the two
holds at the start of the second crux, tell myself ‘I know I can do this’, grab
a small undercling, get my right foot on the glassy smear, rock over the
foot….and be unable to find the perfect body position. Thrutch for the crimp, miss,
fall, rage. Pull back on at the start of the second crux and climb all the way
to the top. Rinse; repeat.
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Grabbing that last hold in the second crux |
I have done this over a dozen times now…one
move away from completing the final crux. Each time I feel like I learn
something, which is definitely positive. Still, it is hard to stay psyched as I
ask myself how much more I need to learn before I can make the move feel like
it does in isolation.
Almost every day we have been in St George
(about 4 weeks) at least one of my friends has sent a project of theirs. In that
same time, I have completed a grand total of 5 new climbs; all of them were
used as warm ups. When we got here, I had decided that I wanted to climb this
one route, which would be my hardest ever, instead of doing more climbs of
lesser difficulty. Completing this climb, of course, would be a huge step
forward in my climbing and would complete my goal I had for this year: climb
five 5.14s, one of which is 5.14b.
What I didn’t expect was the frustration and
sadness (for lack of better word) that I would feel seeing everyone else
successfully redpointing their projects and having done none of my own. Instead
of thriving off the psych of everyone else’s successes, I am constantly asking
myself ‘why can’t I send as well?’ I find myself wanting to walk away from
Breakin’ the Law and climb something else just so I can have that feeling of
success. Is that the right decision? Or is that just the selfish thought of me
wanting to show my friends ‘hey I can send something too!’?
Would those little successes of climbing
something well below my limit equate to the same feeling as sending my hardest
climb ever? Unlikely. I need to remember that the relationship I have been
forming with this climb is like any other relationship – it takes work. I need
to keep focused and devoted during those low times in order to have the high
times. I know I can climb this and I know I am getting close. It will just be a
matter of time…
April
13 update…
Three days after pouring my thoughts onto
this page I had my best go on Breakin’ the Law. I snagged the final hold of the
crux, the decent left hand crimp, only to have my right foot pop off the smear
resulting in yet another fall. I hit my knee hard on the lip of the roof on the
fall and tore off a massive scab I had healing there, resulting in a bloody
mess and some anxiety about repeating the same thing over again.
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Ouch... |
Another three days after that attempt I
successfully redpointed Breakin’ the Law (5.14b), my hardest climb to date.
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Sending! Pulling the first crux |
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Sending! Pulling the first crux |
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The head wall slab |